@ I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up
my pillow was missing!
@ Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
@ We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the
@ If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
@ War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
@ A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at
@ I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
@ Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
@ Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
@ We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
@ I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
@ Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
@ Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
@ If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
@ When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water.
@ Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.