Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Every day of their holiday



Every day of their holiday, these two guys rented a boat and fished. One day they caught thirty fish.
JAMES  said, "PETER, mark this spot so that we can come back here tomorrow."
The next day when they were driving to rent  the boat, JAMES asked, "PETER, did you mark that spot?"
PETER replied, "Yep. I painted a big X on the bottom of the boat!"

JAMES growled. "You old fool! What if we don't get the same boat today?"

Saturday, December 7, 2013

HE IS NOT BREATHING



A couple of Mexico hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ 


Friday, December 6, 2013

I am your guardian angel

time to celebrate Christmas tree           

        
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came swerving around the corner, barely missing him. “Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?” “I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered. “Oh yeah?” the man asked. “And where the hell were you when I got married?”

bells