The sales manager jumped up

A sales manager and an operation manager went bear hunting. While the operation manager stayed in the cabin, the sales manager went out looking for a bear.

He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward the sales manager, who started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.

Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear jumped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The sales manager jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

While going to bed the other night

Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed, stealing things. I phoned the police but was told nobody was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible. I hung up. A minute later, I phoned again. ”Hello” I said, ”I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to worry now because I shot them.” Within minutes, there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said, ”I thought you said you shot them.” To which I replied, ”I thought you said there was no one available.”