Tuesday, December 6, 2011



@ I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up    
     my pillow was missing!

@ Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear 
     bright until you hear them speak.

@ We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the 

@ If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

@ War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

@ A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at 
    kick boxing.

@ I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

@ Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

@ Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

@ We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

@ I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

@ Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

@ Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

@ If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

@ When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire 
     Department usually uses water.

@ Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.