Friday, March 30, 2012



Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

1st person: “Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon?”
2nd person: “I don’t know. I’m new to these parts too.”

A friend of mine had a brilliant idea for saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they would take up less room.

No one is listening until you fart.

Whats the diff between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks

Folk say you only fall in love once, but whenever I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

HR Manager to job candidate: "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management,

The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by announcing,

"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?" asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Friday, March 23, 2012

jokes jokes jokes


I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. 

If you can't convince them, confuse them. 

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? 

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. 

I took an IQ test the results were negative