Jokes

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate!


If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it!


We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.


If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.


Early to bed, early to rise ensures a healthy, dull demise.


For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.


I consider "On Time" to be when I get there.



Chat of kids:

1st kid: Do you know why is 6 scared from 7 ?

2nd kid: Because 7 ate 9..

5.- Won the lottery 
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack.



 1.- Retired 
 A retired gentlemen went into the social security office to apply.




A French fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hey , could I get a beer please?”
The bartender looks at him shaking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here”


Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, it has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.


What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.


“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.