Saturday, April 28, 2012



How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Golfer: "How do you like my game?" 
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf." 

Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" 
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day." 

Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." 
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." 

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." 
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

Friday, April 20, 2012



Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar
I can't believe that!

Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

A stockbroker is someone who invests your money until it is all gone.

A narrow mind has a broad tongue.

Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? 

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Any given computer program, when running, is obsolete.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Your so short that ur the last person to know its raining

Q: What do whales like to chew?
A: Blubber gum!

Thursday, April 5, 2012


You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

Warning: I have an attitude, and I know how to use it.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?