Tuesday, December 6, 2011



@ I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up    
     my pillow was missing!

@ Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear 
     bright until you hear them speak.

@ We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the 

@ If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

@ War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

@ A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at 
    kick boxing.

@ I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

@ Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

@ Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

@ We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

@ I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

@ Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

@ Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

@ If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

@ When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire 
     Department usually uses water.

@ Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.


  1. hey.. very nice.. waiting for next entry..your the best!

  2. funny one-liner...short n smart ! :)

  3. Hi Steve! Love the jokes you have here!. Also wanted to thank you for joining my blog http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com I just joined yours as well!

  4. This is hilarious!. A great way to start Monday

  5. you made my day :D:D:D great jokes


  6. Hey Steve,you really made me happy !I will visit you again to read more.Thanks once again.

  7. really worth it. Thanks for inviting me here, this are beyond jokes the tell the reality of life in a funny way. I've even joined your site (hope you can join mine, cos i'l love to be close to you.) thanks.

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