Why are you taking so long?

Did you hear about the golfer trying to buy a new golf club?

He looked at club after club after club. 

His friend asked him "Why are you taking so long?

"He replied "I am looking for a hole in one!"

Jealous Foreman

John was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise. 
"Oh," John said. 
"You know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work"
"We all know that," replied his friend. 
"But why did he let you go?"
"Jealousy," answered John. 
"All the other workers thought I was the foreman."