Thursday, April 5, 2012

FUNNY JOKES




You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

Warning: I have an attitude, and I know how to use it.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Friday, March 30, 2012

FUNNY BIRTHDAY JOKES

JOKES



Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31


1st person: “Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon?”
2nd person: “I don’t know. I’m new to these parts too.”


A friend of mine had a brilliant idea for saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they would take up less room.


No one is listening until you fart.


Whats the diff between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks


Folk say you only fall in love once, but whenever I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.


It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.


HR Manager to job candidate: "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management,


The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by announcing,


"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?" asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt.


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