RETARDED JOKES

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and
vehicle maintenance."

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka. 

What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack 

Girlfriend: "Are you sure you love me, and no one else?" Boyfriend: "Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday."

GOOD SHORT JOKES

Q. Why did the clown go to to the doctor?
A. He was feeling funny.

Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A. They're hiring.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare? 
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.