What happened to the baby ?

For weeks a little boy told his teacher about the baby that was coming to his house. One day, his mother let him feel the baby move in her tummy. He then stopped telling the teacher about the baby. The teacher finally asked, "What happened to the baby you were expecting at your house?" The boy broke into tears and said, "I think my Mommy ate it!"

I haven’t heard them in over a week

Peter, one of the world‘s greatest hypochondriacs (a person who always thinks he‘s 

sick but isn‘t really), bumped into his doctor one day at the supermarket.

“Doc!” Peter exclaimed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, remember those voices I kept 

on hearing in my head? I haven’t heard them in over a week!”

“Wow! What wonderful news Peter! I’m so happy for you!” his doctor exclaimed.

“Wonderful?” asked a dismal looking Peter. “There’s nothing wonderful about it. I’m 

afraid my hearing is starting to go now!