TAKE COVER

CRAZY THINGS TO SAY

FUNNY QUESTIONS CHILDREN ASK

Son: what's a gf?
Mom:If you're a good boy, you will get one when you're older.


Son:What if I'm not a good boy?
Mom: You'll get many.

BLONDE JOKE

There were two blondes, and they had just come from a store. 
The blonde that owned the Mustang had locked her keys in the car. 
She was trying to pick the lock when she stopped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, “Hurry up, it’s starting to rain and the top’s down”

POLICE JOKES

A policeman in the museum wonders around carelessly and
 knocks down a vase. The pale guard rushes to the scene and shouts:
“Oh my, this piece is 3000 years old!
what have you done?”
“Now that’s a relief, I thought I broke something new”

RETARDED JOKES

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and
vehicle maintenance."

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka. 

What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack 

Girlfriend: "Are you sure you love me, and no one else?" Boyfriend: "Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday."

GOOD SHORT JOKES

Q. Why did the clown go to to the doctor?
A. He was feeling funny.

Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A. They're hiring.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare? 
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

SHORT HILARIOUS JOKES

Stolen car
James left his car at the parking lot inside the mall. He went shopping. When he came back, the car was stolen. He asked: ”Who stole my car?” Nobody replied. He shouted:” Whoever stole my car, bring it back before I do what I did in NEW YORK. The thieves were scared and brought back the [...]

RUDE JOKES

MAN JOKES

STUPID JOKES