Sunday, September 21, 2014

personal psychic advisor

smiling frogs


A lonely frog telephone the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future held. His personal psychic advisor tells. him "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." 
The frog is thrilled "This is great! will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
  

A man is complaining to a friend

beautiful double floors house

A man is complaining to a friend: "I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a nice car, a great motorcycle, the love of a beautiful woman. 
Then it was all gone!" " What happened?" asks the friend. "My wife found out!" replied the man   


Thursday, September 18, 2014

Whose Profession Came First


funny lawyer

A doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer are going out golfing. They are trying to decide whose profession came first. 

The doctor says, “My profession came first because when God removed Adam’s rib he performed surgery.”

The engineer then says, “No, no, no. When the earth was dark and void God created light. That was engineering.”

The lawyer says, “You’re both wrong.”

The doctor and engineer reply, “Oh yeah? What makes you think yours came first?”

The lawyer replies, “Where do you think the darkness came from?

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Very large hands

helping hands


If you have 3 apples and 4 oranges in a hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other hand what do you have?

Very large hands

Saturday, June 28, 2014

The nun made a note

free jokes

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching. 'Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large 
pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 
'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Friday, June 27, 2014

Why are you taking so long?


best golfer
Did you hear about the golfer trying to buy a new golf club?
He looked at club after club after club. 
His friend asked him "Why are you taking so long?
"He replied "I am looking for a hole in one!"


Jealous Foreman

skill development

John was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise. 
"Oh," John said. 
"You know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work"
"We all know that," replied his friend. 
"But why did he let you go?"
"Jealousy," answered John. 
"All the other workers thought I was the foreman."


swimming lessons