What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? Owl be yours! Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it I love animals, they taste great. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long. Q: How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming? A: SPLAT!!! He didn’t. Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City? To see who shot his “paw.” What dog always gets on everyone’s nerves? A great pane!
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull. Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf." Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day." Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar I can't believe that! Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep. Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off. A stockbroker is someone who invests your money until it is all gone. A narrow mind has a broad tongue. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. Any given computer program, when running, is obsolete. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." Your so short that ur the last person to know its raining Q: What do whales like to chew? A: Blubber gum!
You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg. Warning: I have an attitude, and I know how to use it. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance? They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?